Encouraging positive toddler behaviour
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Always remember what is normal Preschoolerbehaviour.o
Use your knowledge of what’s normal, be sensible and creative…..go with the flow.o
Rough patches are a giveno
It’s important to find ways around the rough patches and enjoy the wonder of your Preschooler.o
Preschoolers don’t have sense but parents need sensible explanations.o
We are not aiming for perfect children.o
Remember to enjoy this marvelous and fun time
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What are the key characteristics of a Preschooler?o
Lacking in sense- minimum sense and maximum mobilityo
Poor appreciation for the rights of otherso
Ten-minute time frame (consider consequences)o
Separate poorly from parents (esp < 3years)o
Little respect for others’ propertyo
Change their minds frequently
Most older preschoolers:
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Can start to control impulsive behaviouro
Can wait (though not for too long)o
Can control their tantrumso
Can separate from their parents and be left with friendso
Will usually play together with other childreno
Wonderfully imaginative and creative
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What trigger’s toddlers’ behaviour?•
Provide your Preschooler with as much high quality attention as possible.•
Directly related to well-being•
Giving this to your child will benefit both of you.
1. Arrival of a new baby
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Most will manage reasonably wello
Preschooler can feel threatened if the parent doesn’t consider the Preschooler’s point of view.o
Involve the Preschooler with the baby.o
Ask the Preschooler to “help”- makes them feel important.
2. Sibling rivalry
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Competing with a sibling can bring out some unpleasant preschooler behaviourso
Younger siblings become frustrated when they cannot do what their older sibling can. And vice versa.o
Again: make sure every child is getting adequate high quality attentiono
When you chat to friendso
Most of us will try and reason with the toddler- needless frustration!o
Try and be brief and choose your timing carefully
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Encourage sharing but don’t expect too much reason.o
Often better to divert/distract/keep them busy with something else.o
Don’t be embarrassed by poor sharing- it’s normal and we all go through it!o
Let him know that sharing is something you would like him to do but don’t force the issue.o
Notice and praise any sharing that does take place
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Ideas way beyond capabilitieso
Accept a certain amount of tantrum throwing as normalo
It’s a normal part of learning. Best to provide understanding and encouragement
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Commences around 7 months, peaks at around 1 year and slowly diminishes over the next 3 years.o
Increases during transitions, stressful periods, holidays.o
Be forgiving, don’t rush it, usually sorts itself out over time.
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7. Unsettled environmento
Consider periods where there are changes in the environment.o
Try to ride with the puncheso
Create as much structure and predictability as possibleo
Give even more high quality attention.
TANTRUMS
What causes tantrums?
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In younger toddlers- frustrationo
Older toddlers- more intentional, can build the performanceo
By age 4, most tantrums have wanedLook at the cause:
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Frustration- (Commonly the case in Under 2s-o
Provide care and comforto
divert attention and move on.•
Open defiance (often in 3 years+): o
if the aim is to openly defy parents’ authority-o
Remember- just as we did with other behaviour:o
How many steps you use depends on degree of tantrumo
DO NOT give in to the manipulation and drama if it is wilful defiance. This reinforces the very behaviour you want to change.
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Try to avoid shopping with your pre-schooler- late night shopping, grandparents etco
If you have to bring him/her along, try weekends, bring your partner , shop at less busy times.o
Most importantly, if it’s an ongoing issue, plan to manage home tantrums before tackling public.
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Ask yourself why you are saying No.o
Look out for behaviour we do want and reward with praise.o
Be sensible, don’t discipline if you don’t need to.o
Remember they can pick up on your own stress and when this is the case, a tantrum is more likely to happen. Do you need stress management help yourself?o
Try and ride with the puncheso
Create as much structure and predictability as possibleo
Give lots of high quality attention.
